YOU'RE TOO BOLD - LOG KYA KAHENGE?
STRUGGLES OF BEING OUTSPOKEN AND LOUD; TOO MUCH TO HANDLE FOR A "PROGRESSIVE" SOCIETY. SO MUCH FOR STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF.
"She was full of life, loud, opinionated, extroverted & would make friends everywhere she went. When she'd get sad, she used to dress up. Always the life of a party, but deep down, lonely." - quoting my grandma, every time she introduces my mother.
My father would hit her often. Lewd comments were exchanged every now & then. I'd see mom sobbing. We thought she’d make through but she could not take it anymore & preferred death over life.
As a ten-year-old when I lost my mother, my life took a rotational shift. I shifted with my maternal grandparents, had to adjust in a completely new environment and of course, we all know about how gossip spreads in school corridors. Struggling from insomnia and anxiety through those young years it kind of became a part of my life. Sleepless nights, memory loss, regular headaches, and upset bowels were now very normal for me.
It wasn't easy making my grandparents understand that these issues were not lifestyle or gadget related; they were the aftermath of a real mental illness. That is when I decided that Mental Health will be normalized at my house and everywhere I go. I started off with school counseling. Thanks to my mother, I was a sports person almost all my life which really helps with anxiety and art therapy has also been useful for me.
Throughout my life, I've made it a point that we must learn to unlearn, because that is how you wash away taboos, especially in a developing field of research where you are learning new definitions every day. My struggle on top of it makes me sensitive about people using real mental illnesses so loosely. I often come out as loud and opinionated like my mom, but that’s how I wired myself, to become an approachable person with whom people can share their struggles and it’s my step to eradicate the ‘Log Kya Kahenge’ (What will people say?) syndrome and create a safer space where people can vent out without the fear of judgment, unapologetically.
I'm not perfect, we're all flawed.
I try talking about my struggles and how I try to cope with them every single day to give the push to that one person who probably needs it and might want to open up because trust me, I understand how difficult it is for a person actually struggling to open up about their issues and accept a helping hand. I've been called names, too. People try to pull you down if you talk about something as serious as this, but one thing I know about myself is that I was and will always be vocal about mental health.
I had to become thick-skinned for the longest time. I had negative patience levels and anger issues, there have been times I've ended up hurting people and doing no good but that is what I want to say to you all - You're human. You are allowed to be hurt and fix it, you are allowed to make mistakes, realize them, act upon them, and make amends because the one gift that nature has given us is a beautiful mind, the mind which can be our friend and our biggest enemy.
Sooth your minds with good vibes and throw out all the toxicity!
Mental trauma was passed in my family from one generation to another. I have my struggles but one thing that my experiences have taught me is to stay strong and keep living because believe me, every day has something new to offer, and just like the moon all things have their phases, the good is not here to stay so you shall prepare for the rainy day and the bad too shall pass, so handle one day at a time with all your grace.
You complete you.
Written by - Muskan Malhotra