Updated: Jun 7, 2021
“Boundaries are your responsibility. You decide what is and isn’t allowed in your life.”
Have you ever gotten hurt by someone close to you when they intentionally did something you did not want them to do? Did you feel that you weren’t important enough for them to respect your likes and dislikes? Do you often feel the need to take a step back from a conversation but the thought that you may hurt another person’s feelings, stopped you from doing that?
If this happens with you, you may want to start creating healthy boundaries for yourself.
A healthy boundary is a space you give to yourself and others for better mental and physical well-being and growth. It is extremely necessary for everyone to respect each other’s boundaries because violating boundaries can take a toll on the mind. To explain this in an elaborate and easier way, I will tell you an incident that I personally faced. I had a friend who got into smoking. He knew that I didn’t like the idea of smoking. Out of care, I had asked him to not do it else, I wouldn’t talk to him. Sometime later, I found out that he had continued to smoke and had hidden the fact from me. It bothered me to a huge extent. It was then when my therapist explained to me about healthy boundaries. She told me that each individual’s life is his own and therefore they have complete authority over it. You can’t control others’ actions but can only give them suggestions. The rest is on them. She asked me to imagine a ring around me, the ring signifying my boundary. She made me realize that I would break my ring and enter the other person’s ring. Even though I did it out of care, violating both of our boundaries caused hurt to both the parties. That’s when I realized how important it was to have healthy boundaries. A person’s inner space is only for themselves and when you try to enter that place for any reason, you suffocate both - yourself and them.
How To Build Healthy Boundaries?
Allow yourself Allowing yourself to make healthy boundaries is a step towards better mental health. It doesn’t mean that you have to be distant from everyone, it means that you have to respect your own and the other person’s space.
Prioritize yourself No. It isn’t selfish. You are that one person who always has to be with themselves. Try to keep your mental health above everything else. Practice self-care to recognize the importance of your feelings and take care of your mind as you become more self-aware. This will help you to become aware of your feelings and thereby encourage healthy boundaries!
Start being direct It might be weird in the beginning but if you keep the goal of creating healthy boundaries, in your mind, it will get better gradually. Being direct doesn’t mean being rude or careless about others’ feelings. It means politely saying how you feel after considering how the other person feels.
Seeking Help Seeking help by going to therapy can help you create healthy boundaries. It can prevent you from falling into a circle of loneliness if you deviate a little while creating healthy boundaries.
Setting boundaries are a part of self-care and self-growth. Don’t feel guilty to nurture yourself.
Your mental health matters as much as your physical health. Don't hesitate to take a step towards your mental well-being. If you’re looking at talking to a professional, book your Initial Consultation with us on https://www.themoodspace.com/freeconsultation or write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Take a step towards bettering your mental wellbeing because you deserve it!
Written By - Mahika Solanki
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