SELF REGULATION: THE KEY TO DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL STRENGTH

Updated: Jun 16



A lot of us go through life thinking that, in order to be emotionally strong, we need to stop ourselves from expressing what we think or feel.


We are often told or made to feel that being ‘emotionally strong’ means

  • Keeping our feelings and emotions to ourselves,

  • Not crying or getting angry

  • Letting go or ignoring things

  • Not being afraid

  • Taking care of others and their feelings over our own

The idea of emotional suppression has long been associated with emotional strength. However, instead of making us more resilient or strong, it actually robs us off our ability to self-regulate, express ourselves in healthy ways and creates a sense of disconnection between how we operate in our internal & external environment.

It leaves us feeling overwhelmed, lost and confused about how should we think, feel and act with respect to ourselves and others.

It leads us to experience a sense of emotional burden that we carry around with us all the time that interferes in our day-to-day lives. When we suppress our emotions for too long i.e., when we deny ourselves any expression of those, stuff them down or push them away; the following things happen

  • It leads to an increase in irritation, agitation, anger after a point in time.

  • It can bring about feelings of anxiety and suffocation

  • It also gives rise to feelings of loneliness & being low

  • Interest in pleasurable activities and maintaining a routine goes down

  • We may find ourselves displacing our anger & irritation onto other people

  • It leads to constant overthinking, disturbed sleep and a reduction in appetite

Being Emotionally Strong doesn’t mean suppressing or not expressing our emotions. In fact, the ability to Self-Regulate and express emotions appropriately, lies at the heart of developing emotional strength.


Therefore, developing emotional strength then involves

  • Acknowledging your emotions i.e. understanding that you are feeling angry, sad, hurt, irritated etc. and that’s okay.

  • Accepting your own emotions and not denying them by saying ‘Everything is okay’, ‘I am fine’ when you’re actually not.

  • Expressing your emotions in a healthy, constructive manner. For instance, asking for time off or space when you’re feeling overwhelmed or letting yourself cry instead of holding your tears back. If somebody’s behavior is causing you distress, then it’s important to let them know, instead of tolerating it.

  • Acknowledging your emotional needs such as reaching out to someone when you feel the need to or giving yourself space.

  • Giving yourself time to heal.

At the end of the day, emotional strength comes from being able to regulate and navigate the turbulent emotional waters. Each time we learn effective ways of emotional expression, we understand that emotion a little more and reduce its ability to impact us. Thus, strengthening our emotional muscles with time.


Written By - Damini Grover

Counselling Psychologist


Your mental health matters as much as your physical health. Don't hesitate to take a step towards your mental well-being. If you’re looking at talking to a professional, book your Initial Consultation with us on https://www.themoodspace.com/freeconsultation or write to us at info@themoodspace.com. Take a step towards bettering your mental wellbeing because you deserve it!