LOSING A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDAL TENDENCIES

Updated: 2 days ago



Mental Health issues/challenges don’t occur overnight but unfortunately, we do not talk about mental health aspect of living beings at all.


The thought of ending one’s life is often regarded as an ‘act of cowardness’ by the society. However, it’s a culmination of battling and struggling with one’s issues and seeing death as the only channel of escape for themselves to do away with the web around them.


Mental Health issues/challenges don’t occur overnight but unfortunately, we do not talk about mental health aspect of living beings at all. An individual usually goes through a long struggle with themselves but when persistently everything seems helpless, they attempt suicide. The sad part however is that instead of talking about mental health and addressing related issues so that we can help someone, the society is more intrigued about discussions about hypothetical shady reasons behind such attempt. 


Every individual might have a different set of situations spiralling him down. In analytical studies revealing various causes of suicide – there is absolutely no clear winner. Losing the battle against one’s mind has been observed trans any boundaries of gender, age and sex. Little children who are raised in an environment where talks regarding suicide are taken very casually and repeatedly triggered – feel it as a routine escape and do not understand the dire consequences it has. Even today, we as parents, don’t have conversations with our kids regarding such subjects as we feel it isn’t something important to be discussed as we don’t want to plant unnecessary thoughts in their heads. But, the world out there be it through social media, news or anywhere – does acclimatize kids to such words like ‘depression’ ‘suicide’ ‘abuse’ and what not! So having conversation with your kids on time, goes a long way in prepping their minds right and helping them understand the implications of such steps.


While looking at teens and young adults, academic and professional fatigue, failed

relationships, bullying are some of the leading causes pushing them to take this adverse step. Being a transitional phase of life brings them a various forks – each decision with a chance to turn them life around. The anxiety to perform well, make the correct decisions coupled with settling into a new phase, having new relationships – can have an unsaid mounting pressure subconsciously. In such situations, having no one to talk to isolates them further and worsens the situation, till the extent a lot of them start questioning their own worth-“Am I Even Good Enough?” the often contemplate reaching out to anyone for the fear of being perceived as weak by others, which creates boundaries and barriers which slowly suffocate them.


Add to that the rush for financial stability for raising your family, meeting their requirements and at the same time being a ‘social fit’ – causes adults to want to break free from this life just to prevent dealing with it all. Owing to the lockdown, the financial woes we are massively amplified and so was the cases of suicide in the world.


Establishing channels of effective communication regardless of which phase of life you are in, thus becomes extremely necessary. Usually a person who has fatal thoughts might not ask for help directly owing to the fact that most of the time they themselves don’t know what is triggering them or is spiralling them down. But that doesn’t mean that help isn’t wanted. We need to realize that mourning someone’s death can be prevented by just being there for when they actually need.


Someone who attempts suicide or dies by suicide doesn’t mean that they were not resilient but it only means that they couldn’t take it anymore and decided to end their life. Being someone who in the past has tried to end it all herself two times, I know I didn’t want to die but I wanted my pain to stop and I saw no other way. Fortunately, I didn’t die, and today here I am, in my designated role as a mental health counsellor, helping people with their mental health challenges. The things that I have realized from my own experience and after helping my clients who had a tendency to self-harm is that dying is not a solution. Rather it’s important to realize that if we work on our emotions, strengthen our mind, take all the possible help we can and determine ourselves to face the challenges that come our way- Life is actually worthy of being celebrated. Giving up is not an option. I understand, being at the receiving end of an emotionally loaded conversation especially with someone who is majorly depressed or might have suicidal thoughts could be challenging and overwhelming.


-Ask them if they would like to talk about what’s going on with them. They might not want to open up straight away, but letting them know you are there for them is a big help. If they don’t feel comfortable opening up to you ask them if you could help them connect with someone they would feel more comfortable with.


-Accept their feelings and acknowledge that their feelings is real and possible. Listen and don’t judge. Take them seriously. Let them know you care.


-Offer to help them make an appointment, and go with them if you can. Don't leave them alone – make sure someone stays till they are better.


-Seek support from professionals, and from other people, they trust including family or friends.


People with mental illnesses or the ones who have had painful and majorly life-changing events are more likely to commit suicide. So, if you know someone going through a phase of altered behaviour, check up on them and be conscious of their feelings and behaviour. Having said that you never know what someone is going through, so be kind, be compassionate no matter what. You don't need to have all the answers, or to offer advice. The best thing you can do is be there and listen.


Written By - Arouba Kabir Pathan


Your mental health matters as much as your physical health. Don't hesitate to take a step towards your mental well-being. If you’re looking at talking to a professional, book your Initial Consultation with us on https://www.themoodspace.com/freeconsultation or write to us at info@themoodspace.com. Take a step towards bettering your mental wellbeing because you deserve it!

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